God is teaching me patience.... patience with people, patience with prayers, patience with relationships, patience with my family, patience with my hair growing out. Really the list always continues.

I definitely enjoy reading about Stephanie and Anna's adventures.... I miss them both and I wish plane tickets to England were cheaper so I could say hello.

I am really thankful for my school schedule this semester.... more days off and later times of classes = makes Lisa a happy kid.

I hope you all have a good week. I am tuckered out...... I played ultimate but haven't had to sprint in awhile, but I love feeling like I actually exercised.

goodnight to all

This is mainly for the mabster because she stated that I never update and I also dedicate this to her because I know when she gets settled in England she will comment.

First of all, Christmas break was excellent - being around my dad and family was great and then being able to go on a nine day roadtrip with friends to Maine was also equally excellent. The best part about my roadtrip was I truly enjoyed New Year's Eve. It is also with a New Year that I truly got to reflect on this past year.

This past year I continually grew with the Lord (which is always great), got closer to graduating, continually learned life is not perfect nor fair but it is always surprising and beautiful at the same time. I met a lot of great people that have blessed my life tremoundsly. Learned that becoming a leader is a continual process. Relearned that being outside makes me most happy. Learned that even though promotions, or new leadership opportunities come your way sometimes it isn't always the best thing at that time.

Some new year's goals:

To pass Linguistics with a B

To read 8-10 books that don't have to do with school

Enjoy math class

Meet one friend in each of my classes

Go see a mavs game

Enjoy dinnertime at Caroline, Allison, and Kristie's home

go camping

well there is more but I am sure you are getting bored.....haha   

I am really tired today, but I think today I also decided much like every other semester that I wish I could find that schedule where I sleep just the right amount of hours, spend all the quality time I need with each person, call my family enough, and I am on top of every assignment.

Well all of you I believe know me and really I think it is with this schedule that I admire but it is in the perfect world. So I will be attempting to find the schedule that is just right for me.

So now I am off to finish one more class and then finish more of this pitiful driving school to fulfill my ticket dismissal requirements.

blessings to all.  

The blessings from this week: dressing up like a burrito for a free burrito at Chipoltle, having great conversation with so many residents, staff members, and friends. Feeling very blessed for my job as an RA and for my community group girls. Finally getting a good grade in Linguistics.

However, this week I have learned how hard it is to grow up. I do not like when friendships or any relationship changes, I hate making hard decisions, paying for bills and learning how I have to work to be able to do all the things I want to do in life. Life has so much joy to offer and has continually blessed me, but sometimes I don't always like this time in my life.

I feel very transistional, where life presents itself and I have a hard time processing and taking it all in. I have a hard time getting close to people over and over and then having things change so rapidly. How is it that somedays it feels like I can take on the world and other days I feel like hiding and making a fort that no one can enter until they say the magic word?

The Lord is good and I enjoy seeing how much growth that has come from the past two years. I am learning more about my lack of dillignece, perservance, patience and self less love. I am aware that perservance and diligence will get me through the rough spots and that if I am following the Lord, pursuing truth, choosing joy, accepting challenges and soaring above the hard times that it will all work out to glorify the Lord, which is what I want. But oh so hard to realize how much you still need to work on and realizing truthfully I will ALWAYS be a work in progress.

While working with the middle schoolers this week I realize how I feel so young. They call me Ms. Kelsey, but I don't feel like a Ms..... the middle schoolers tell me that I am smart and the cool kind of older person- but I don't feel old. I don't feel that I have any power or that I am old enough to enter the real world. But maybe this is one of those years that you go through so at another time in your life you can feel more at peace with growing up.

Also, how many have you ever contemplated leaving the classroom you are in or just walking off campus and not coming back to school? I sure wanted to give up on school this week, especially while reading chapter after chapter for history. I like learning but sometimes the pressure just makes me want to crack.. I also had no idea that registration stuff could lead to such distress. Sometimes I just don't want to do college anymore- I am ready to feel that I accomplished my goal and move on. But I think I am also getting scared of getting close to people and them moving away shortly. Other days I never want to leave North Texas. I hate how I don't know what I want.

At the end of the day, I return to the most pleasant thought ever- the Lord is in control of my life. 

I have no idea where I want to live when I grow up....Do I really want to move away from both Minnesota and Texas? Where do I want to work? Do I still want to be a teacher? Will I get to serve as a missionary somewhere? Will I get to travel the world how I planned inside my head? Will I become a hall director at a different school?

only the Lord knows :) 

Today I am tired, and overwhelmed by my lack of motivation to do schoolwork. I feel I have hit the bad cycle of schoolwork again, and I thought it had gone away after a successful year that last year with school had brought. But I will keep trying and reorganize some of my priorities so my work gets done.

Tonight I have a halloween ball, and although it will be fun, I will partially be glad it will be over. Because there are still so many things to do tonight for it and I just don't want to do it. Ha.... But I do still love my job, because who can count besides RA's that putting on a ball is their job? I am blessed....

In conclusion I am still tired, but I guess thinking about it won't help things so I will get back to work. 

Talk to you all soon friends

I have had the chance to tutor at the local middle school and I really enjoy it. Considering by May 2007 I will get to be at middle schools full time as a teacher, I am glad I like it.

Middle schoolers and all children have a profound energy that we as adults lose slowly but surely. I think it is not so much that they are young and we are old, but that they don't take on the burdens of life- they just live within and they are very spontaneous.

Even children who are dealing with a lot, continue to relish in the small things.

It makes me sad at how much our education system as a whole needs help- we need to realign our views and I wish most teachers would re-assess why they were there in the first place, because some of them don't always like teaching. But then there are the numerous good teachers who make it worthwhile.

I love children and I always have but becoming a full time teacher scares me to death. Being responsible to what children learn in a year is a big undertaking.

But the children make it worth it, here were some of my conversation topics today with the middle schoolers: Who is cooler- Harry Potter or movie stars? Which girlfriend is better? (some of the boys were trying to make me pick who had the better girlfriend) When I asked them what dating is.....their answers were: well we sit with them at lunch, and maybe give them a hug....but maybe we can kiss someday.

I am so amazed at how they are willing to share their lives and talk to me.

Afterwards I always feel tired especially after today, when I tutored three children in science- difference between chemical and physical changes with compounds and mixtures is a lot harder than I thought.

Besides the middle schoolers- my phone is working again- after three days of drying out it was put back together and made the glorious t-mobile noise.

Classes are hard, I don't want to make powerpoints, work on projects...etc...but that is okay...it will be nice to get out of college some day.

Everyone says that I am on the downhill slide of school, meaning that I am almost done.... but I think the hill is lookin' mighty large from over here. haha.

But I like my job and my friends. I am glad to be here, right now....it feels good to wake up and feel content.

loves you.